- Me: *Fist fights Haruki Murakami*
- Haruki Murakami: I'm wearing my favorite pair of shoes while this man punches me in my face with closed fists. I should feel pain, but all I can keep thinking about is the time my mother showed me a picture of the clouds during the Japanese war with China. A brown cat with burned whiskers walks by us. Chopin is playing softly in the cafe across the street.
- Me: SHUT UP PLEASE!!! OMG!!!
























